Chris Titus Debloat ((top)) May 2026

Eight seconds. Eight. From cold start to desktop. No stutter. No “just a moment” spinning dots. Just a cursor, waiting for his command, not the other way around.

Piece by piece, the machine began to breathe. Not metaphorically—the fan actually stopped spinning for the first time since the Biden administration. He disabled the Xbox services (he didn’t own an Xbox), killed the “Phone Link” that had never linked a phone, and nuked three different manufacturer utilities that existed solely to remind him to buy a new battery. chris titus debloat

Reboot.