Mama Fiona – Your Stepmom Is A Size Queen Site

On Sunday night, she handed me a new sticky note.

My legs moved on their own.

Bonus: Social Media Caption (for an NSFW Twitter/Reddit post) r/confession: My stepmom Mama Fiona is a size queen. I found her laminated "girth chart" in the garage. Instead of killing me, she made me sit on the bathroom floor while she measured me with a tailor's tape. Turns out I'm "ambulance-tier." She spent the weekend coaching me on technique so I "don't hurt anyone." I’m terrified and also strangely grateful. Send help. Or more lube. mama fiona – your stepmom is a size queen

She patted the tile floor in front of her. On Sunday night, she handed me a new sticky note

I nearly passed out.

“I didn't marry him for his body. I married him for the house. But you… you’re not him, are you?” I found her laminated "girth chart" in the garage