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The marshmallow-to-graham ratio is 0.62, suboptimal. Chocolate bloom detected on southern hemisphere. Conclusion: Unacceptable for consumption.

Denied. Resubmit after grocery trip.

Missy attempted to submit a Banana Moon Pie. I rejected it on grounds of category fraud. She then called me a “weird space alien.” Further peer review is unnecessary.

In Young Sheldon S05E18 (“A Solo Peanut, a Social Butterfly, and the Truth”), Sheldon is obsessed with the (Moon Pie Council, a fictional organization he creates to rank the quality of Moon Pies). Here’s a short piece inspired by that: The MPC Report – Entry #018

Expand MPC to include a quantitative scale for ‘Squoosh Factor’ by 0.1 increments. Also, request Mother buy only Double-Decker Moon Pies from here forward. The stability of my ranking system depends on it.

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